I was alone and cold and damp

I perform for many reasons.
But mostly I'm frustrated.
People don't know how to listen.
Like, really listen.
Maybe it's just the way I was raised...
But I think to truly listen, is to understand.
You have to know where the other person is coming from.
When people write - - -
No, when people write WELL, they are attempting to make a statement.
Sometimes when I'm on stage I just lose it.
I lose my focus, timing, control, etc.
Sometimes I get so wound up thinking, here's my chance.
Here's my chance to tell 400 people how scared I am.
I'm scared that people listen better when they have to pay an admission.
Or a cable bill.
I'm scared knowing it's impossible to please everyone in the audience.
I learned this unfortunately late in my career.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm completely distracted by fear.
I get caught up in the gratitude, too.
Each night I think "Holy shit, 400 people? I can't believe half of my facebook friends came."
Then I realize they didn't.
BUT SOME DID!
Some actually did. I'm not speaking into a black hole afterall.
But maybe they didn't even find out about it from facebook.
Maybe people are still talking to each other!
But is anyone listening?