More often than I'd like to admit, I listen to a song over and over again until I'm sick of it. If I don't get sick of it, I just become numb to the original intent of the song, so I can be desensitized to the meaning of the song.
Well now it's Someone Like You by Adele. Bugggggh, I just feel so typical of the average gay man. I really despise when people dig really deep for character development or song analysis. I have had this problem lately at rehearsals. I keep thinking that a pursuit in university theatre would drive me crazy. The idea of taking each line at a time, and discussing the motivations and reactions is just exhausting and frankly it makes me want to vomit.
I love thinking about each song and book on my own and engaging in a self-discussion about intention and impact. I don't like hearing how other people differently interpret the form of art that I've accepted as the truth. If someone has more conviction than I about the point of the piece of art... Well, I'm likely to believe them more.
That's when I stop listening to the song.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I was alone and cold and damp
I perform for many reasons.
But mostly I'm frustrated.
People don't know how to listen.
Like, really listen.
Maybe it's just the way I was raised...
But I think to truly listen, is to understand.
You have to know where the other person is coming from.
When people write - - -
No, when people write WELL, they are attempting to make a statement.
Sometimes when I'm on stage I just lose it.
I lose my focus, timing, control, etc.
Sometimes I get so wound up thinking, here's my chance.
Here's my chance to tell 400 people how scared I am.
I'm scared that people listen better when they have to pay an admission.
Or a cable bill.
I'm scared knowing it's impossible to please everyone in the audience.
I learned this unfortunately late in my career.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm completely distracted by fear.
I get caught up in the gratitude, too.
Each night I think "Holy shit, 400 people? I can't believe half of my facebook friends came."
Then I realize they didn't.
BUT SOME DID!
Some actually did. I'm not speaking into a black hole afterall.
But maybe they didn't even find out about it from facebook.
Maybe people are still talking to each other!
But is anyone listening?
But mostly I'm frustrated.
People don't know how to listen.
Like, really listen.
Maybe it's just the way I was raised...
But I think to truly listen, is to understand.
You have to know where the other person is coming from.
When people write - - -
No, when people write WELL, they are attempting to make a statement.
Sometimes when I'm on stage I just lose it.
I lose my focus, timing, control, etc.
Sometimes I get so wound up thinking, here's my chance.
Here's my chance to tell 400 people how scared I am.
I'm scared that people listen better when they have to pay an admission.
Or a cable bill.
I'm scared knowing it's impossible to please everyone in the audience.
I learned this unfortunately late in my career.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I'm completely distracted by fear.
I get caught up in the gratitude, too.
Each night I think "Holy shit, 400 people? I can't believe half of my facebook friends came."
Then I realize they didn't.
BUT SOME DID!
Some actually did. I'm not speaking into a black hole afterall.
But maybe they didn't even find out about it from facebook.
Maybe people are still talking to each other!
But is anyone listening?
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