the facebook misses

Yep. She just showed her vagina to the Sheboygan crowd during Hairspray bows.

stop watching grey's

A lot of what I do is driven by how I want to be remembered. Do I want to be remembered for fifteen seconds of fame somewhere in Hollywood, or on Broadway? Is it too late to be considered as a lifetime hero or legend?

I'm watching American Idol right now, a television show that I haven't seen in awhile. I'm watching the television hosts exploit individuals with mental instabilities. I am not blaming the creators of the show or the overpaid hosts of the television show. I'm blaming myself for watching. I'm done.

Does everyone have to sell themselves to some degree to get famous? I've been told to audition for this show many times. But seeing the way they treat these people, I would never make myself so vulnerable; especially not to have it all ripped up in front of me.

They have mastered the art of making people laugh and cry. In order to laugh, you have to see someone lose. In order to cry, you have to know what it feels like to lose. They also know how to sell their products. They have mastered the ability to get us to empty our wallets.

They scare me.

never never

When I was younger I never imagined that holding the hand of my best dude friend would be alright. There is something incredibly wrong with that. We should be allowed to show more affection with our friends. That's what we're here for.

Thank me

Thank me with a kiss,
It'll leave a bigger mark.
You'll thank me when this is over.
I'm coming out of the dark.

The next five years

I can't deny how much I care about you.

I can't control the feelings I have for this man. And I can't control the feelings he has for me. Rinse. Repeat. It's that simple.
I didn't like this movie the first time I saw it.

I'm broken. I'm an alcoholic. I'm in a large amount of debt.

Here's what I can do. I can recover much quicker this time. I can control myself. I can fix myself. . I am so bored. I can run five miles. I can work out. I can win poker tournaments.I can talk to you.

I can survive this, and then succeed. And I will.

what's your difference

I need to start taking my life a little bit more seriously. Every day at work I think, "I could just quit today, and I would be perfectly happy". What a ridiculous thought to have on the mind. So many people depend on Starbucks Coffee for a career. And here I am, taking it for granted.

I'm just afraid that if I take it too seriously I won't be able to have any fun. But if I have too much fun will I make any progress? To whom will the measuring of progress fall upon? Or will I be so happy that I stay in this same house, working this same job, cleaning the same litter box day after day?

Yesterday I was cuddling up to the movie King Lear, and overheard the line "what's your difference?" I have never been ecstatic about Shakespeare. But that line struck a chord with me. The reason it was asked, was because two individuals were arguing, and the questioner wanted to know the matter of argument. But it also made me ponder my own difference. I am a six-foot five, three hundred pound flamboyant man, and I am facing difficulty getting noticed.

There's no...

Who put the business in show-business? At what point do you sacrifice the intent of your art to increase ticket sales?

uh-oh

Maybe I do have a problem. And it's not that I'm no one special.

downer removed

I have a feeling I'm going to be writing a lot more. My best friends and I just vowed to quit drinking.

shiksa goddess

If I'm head over heels for someone I need to remain aware that I will eventually fall out of love as fast as I fell in.

I spent a lot of time at shopping centers today.

I saw the movie True Grit, starring Jeff Bridges. I bought the music book for the Last Five Years.

Now I'm going to finish laundry. So who cares, so what?

deep in imagination

The truth is, there is nothing special about me at all.

What can I say? I surround myself with incredible people, and I don't let them go. That makes me smart, not special.

Maybe I want to bitch about my problems and not get lectured with solutions.

I happen to like ignoring the solutions to my problems, thank you very much. I've never been much of a learner. My memory is the pits, to boot.

I find myself shutting my eyes and imagining I am not where I am. I rarely find myself deep in thought, but often deep in imagination. I wonder if writing will help me form concrete thoughts. I am done with dreaming.